


Let Yourself Be

by bellatrix187



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, Blowjobs, Gay Male Character, Getting Together, Healer Scorpius, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Non-Graphic Sex, Post-Hogwarts, handjobs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2020-07-29 19:01:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20087197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellatrix187/pseuds/bellatrix187
Summary: Albus had known he was gay and in love with Scorpius since he was fifteen. Scorpius, however, was still trying to come to terms with both his sexuality and feelings towards his best friend. Albus didn’t do boyfriends and Scorpius came from a family where being anything but straight was unacceptable. When experienced Albus offers to ‘help’ Scorpius with sex so he can find a girl friend, will he finally realize that he and Albus are meant to be together?





	1. Chapter 1

Scorpius Malfoy found out that his best friend, Albus Severus Potter, was gay on accident at the end of their seventh year. 

Exams were over, and the Slytherin students had thrown a party in the common room to celebrate. There were students from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw that had come by and there was music and plenty of firewhiskey to go around. 

Scorpius had only had a few sips of firewhiskey. Unlike Albus, who had become moderately buzzed within the first hour, he didn’t particularly enjoy the taste or effects of alcohol. Scorpius was having a pleasant conversation about exams with the Head Girl, Hannah, who seemed to be the only other sober person at the party, while Albus was carelessly dancing along to the music.

Sometimes Scorpius envied Albus’ casualness, and his ability to adapt to new situations with ease. Scorpius was almost always an anxious mess, and would never be able to dance so carelessly in front of so many people. To Scorpius’ surprise, it wasn’t long before Albus was pressed up against another boy, Scorpius knew to be in Ravenclaw. He was in their year and he was tall with light brown hair. They were dancing all pressed up against one another one minute and the next they were snogging, right in the middle of the common room, in front of dozens of students. Scorpius seemed to be the only one who cared. Other students gave a glance or two in their direction and then went back to their conversations and drinks, while Scorpius froze with his mouth open, completely forgetting about what he had been about to say to Hannah. 

Something felt wrong. His stomach churned and he knew he had to leave the common room. He turned away and pushed his way through the crowd of other students and raced down the stairs towards the dormitories and the bathroom. Though he had only had half a glass of firewhiskey, it came up with the rest of the contents of his stomach. He didn’t know how long he kneeled there on the bathroom floor, retching until there was nothing left. 

As he sat there, kneeling on the bathroom floor, he wondered why Albus had never told him about such an important part of his life. Sure, Albus had never exactly been enthusiastic about any girls at school, but boys? Scorpius wasn’t jealous. He was just surprised, no-shocked was more like it. And he felt betrayed. How could Albus not have told him? All those years and Albus hadn’t even mentioned it? 

After nearly falling asleep on the floor, he brushed his teeth and decided he felt well enough to make his way to his bed. As he was undressing, Albus came into the dormitory. It looked like he had sobered up a little bit and upon seeing Scorpius he grinned and flopped down on his bed. 

“Where’d you run off to?” Asked Albus absentmindedly, turning to look at his best friend. 

“Got a bit sick,” muttered Scorpius, quickly throwing on his pajamas and climbing onto his own bed. 

“From that half a glass of firewhiskey?” Albus gaped at him. 

“Er- yeah,” he admitted. “How was the rest of the party?” He almost did not want to know the answer to this question, if he was being honest with himself. What if Albus and the Ravenclaw boy had gone further than kissing? 

“Pretty good,” Albus grinned. “It kinda started clearing out a few minutes ago. I’m exhausted.” 

If Albus didn’t want to tell him that he had been making out with another boy right in front of their entire year, then that was that. Apparantly he didn’t trust Scorpius, his best friend of nearly seven years now, with the fact that he was gay. Did he think Scorpius would never find out? Or be uncomfortable?

“I saw you,” Scorpius blurted out before he could stop himself. “I saw you kissing that bloke from Ravenclaw in front of everyone. I know you think I didn’t see you but I did.” Scorpius turned onto his side so he was facing away from Albus and was about to close the curtains to his bed when Albus spoke up.

“Score-” Albus began. Scorpius sat up and looked at Albus. 

“You really didn’t trust me enough to tell me you fancy guys?” Scorpius spat, his face heating up. He hated confrontation, and he always did everything in his power to avoid fighting, especially with Albus. But he plowed on this time. “I’m your best friend.”

“I know Score…” said Albus, turning onto his back and looking up at the ceiling. “I think it was just...easier, you know? Making out with some random boy in front of people that I barely know. Whose opinions I don’t care about. I’m hardly going to see any of those people in a few days. But you...Score what you think matters to me,” Albus turned onto his side, facing Scorpius and giving him a hard look. “It sounds silly, but we’ve been friends for so long that I think I was afraid...that this would change everything between us. That you would see me differently or something.” 

“Albus, you’re still my best friend,” Scorpius said quietly, feeling like a bit of an arse after yelling at him like that. “This isn’t going to change anything,” Scorpius promised him. 

On the contrary, as soon as the boys moved in together, it changed everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will be updated weekly! It does contain some smut but it will not be graphic and majority of the fic will be teen and up! Enjoy and comments are always appreciated! :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is the second chapter :) I know its been a while but I started college a little while ago so things have been busy. I promise I have a lot more written and will try to get chapter 3 up this weekend as I have around 75% of it written. Comments and kudos are always appreciated!

Something had shifted in their friendship, in the months since they had been sharing a flat. Maybe it was because Scorpius was spending more and more time studying for his healer exams and working long shifts shadowing healers at St.Mungos and Albus was...Well, Albus was still trying to figure out what he wanted to do. He was currently working part time in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures...and hooking up with muggle boys almost every weekend. 

Their days of sharing almost every class, meal, and study session at school were over, and it felt like they had little in common now. Communication between the boys felt forced. They were almost always on different schedules and Albus wanted things to go back to the way they were. Their bond, that inseparable connection that they once had where it felt as if nothing could come between them, seemed to have broken. 

“You’re welcome to stay over, if you need to,” said Albus to the muggle man whose name he’d already forgotten. “But my roommates got work in the morning so you’d have to be up pretty early,” he added. He really didn’t want the man to stay over, but he figured he should at least be nice enough to offer it. Besides, the man (Henry was his name, Albus remembered. He almost didn’t bring the bloke home because the name sounded so similar to “Harry,” but he was hot enough) was already half dressed and clearly not planning on staying.

“That’s alright,” he grunted, pulling on his shoes. Albus got up and found his pair of boxers on the floor and threw on a tee shirt from his closet, figuring he should at least see the man- Henry, out. A minute of awkward silence passed as Henry tried to locate his jacket- the one Albus had unceremoniously pulled off and tossed on the floor before they had both tumbled onto the bed- and his phone and wallet. 

“I’ll at least show you out,” Albus opened the bedroom door for him. 

It was a small flat, as with their salaries they could afford little and both had refused offers from their families to help them out. Albus had insisted that soon enough he would land a real job, and that Scorpius would eventually be making more money after finishing up his healer training. Their flat had two average sized bedrooms and a tiny bathroom barely big enough for a toilet, sink, and shower, as well as a large central room that doubled as a kitchen and living room. Albus and Scorpius bedrooms were right next to each other. 

Scorpius was sat at their small kitchen table, big enough for just two people, with his healer books, papers, diagrams and quills scattered around him. He looked up as Albus’ bedroom door opened. 

Albus figured it wouldn’t be necessary to introduce Henry to Scorpius. It wasn’t like they were ever going to see each other again. He quickly led him over to the door. 

“Thanks for a fun night, Albus,” Henry said with his hand on the handle of the door. He kissed Albus on the cheek cheek. 

“You’re welcome,” Albus smirked. “Have a good night, henry,” he shut the door behind him. “How’s the studying going?” Albus asked his friend, walking over to the cabinet, taking out a glass and filling it up with water. 

“Alright,” Scorpius muttered, setting his quill down and seemingly deciding to take a short break. “Have another exam on Wednesday.” 

Albus sat down at the table as Scorpius tried to rearrange his materials to make room for Albus to at least out his glass of water down. 

“Er- maybe next time you have someone over could you- try and remember to cast muffliato or something?” Scorpius muttered so quickly Albus barely caught what he had said. 

Albus blushed furiously. 

“Oh fuck- I thought I had. Sorry,” said Albus, cringing at the thought of the sounds Scorpius must have heard coming from his bedroom just ten minutes ago. 

“No- it’s fine“ 

“It’s just with muggles it’s hard to remember-“ 

“Just remember for next time- that’s all,” said Scorpius. 

“So you’re studying?” Albus attended to change the subject after that awkward conversation.

“Pretty much all I do these days,” muttered Scorpius. 

“You should come out with me sometime,” said Albus. “It would be fun.” 

“I don’t know Al.... it’s not really my scene. I have one day off a week and it’s almost always spent either sleeping, studying or stressing about my exams and practicals.” 

“Well if you ever have time,” Albus shrugged. “It helps with stress, you know. Sex.” 

Scorpius snorted. 

“Like I would know,” he said self deprecatingly. “I haven’t got much experience.” He picked up his quill again, ran his hand through his hair, and set back to revising. 

“You’re only eighteen,” Albus reminded him. “People don’t expect you to have a lot of experience.” 

Scorpius set his quill down again in thought. 

“I’m just not one of those people that can hook up with someone I barely know,” he said quietly. “I want to, you know, have sex,” he blushed. “I just...don’t really know where to start. I wish I had done things in school when everyone else had.” 

“I could help you,” Albus blurted out before he could stop himself. He backtracked immediately, his face going even redder than Scorpius’. “I mean if you wanted experience. I could...help you,” he proposed. “You don’t have to,” he added quickly. 

“What d’you mean?” The tension in the room grew thick while Albus contemplated how to go about explaining himself. 

“You said you didn’t want to...you know...with someone that you barely know,” he explained. “We wouldn’t have to have sex. Just..other stuff. If you wanted. And we’re best friends so-you know. It wouldn’t be weird,” Albus added. Scorpius sort of gaped at him, with his mouth slightly open. “Sorry. Just forget about what I said. I just thought it might help. Never mind.” Albus got up, setting his glass in the sink and awkwardly stood there, waiting for a response. 

Scorpius POV

Scorpius was speechless. Had Albus just offered to help Scorpius with...sex? He didn’t mean to gape at Albus without saying a word for that long, but he legitimately couldn’t think of what to say. It was adorable though, Scorpius thought to himself, seeing Albus so flustered and stumbling over his words for once. 

Albus had a point. They were best friends. Scorpius couldn’t think of anyone else he would feel more comfortable doing...sexual things with for the first time than Albus. But they were best friends. Doing something like that could make things awkward. What if something went wrong? And besides, Scorpius wasn’t even gay. 

But he wanted experience. And being in healer school for the next three years with little to no dating opportunities or extra time on his hands... Yes. That was why he would accept. And it wasn’t like Albus was unattractive or anything... Even Scorpius, who was straight, could see that Albus was pretty fit. And he had that jawline that he had really grown into, and untidy black hair. Albus touching him and doing things to him wouldn’t exactly be...unpleasant. It’s not like Scorpius would be obligated to reciprocate...not that that would be the worst thing in the world. 

It had been far too long since Scorpius had said anything and Albus was reminding Scorpius particularly of himself what with all the stumbling over his words he was doing. 

“No- it’s...It’s a good idea,” Scorpius said finally. 

“You don’t have to say that just to make me feel better Scor-”

“It is!” Scorpius almost yelled far too enthusiastically. “I mean...I wouldn’t want to go...erm- you know, all the way. But-”

“Score, you can say no,” said Albus sincerely. “I didn’t really think before I blurted it out. It’s just...you’re my best friend and I want to help you. If you wanted. And I’d never judge you or anything. It would be safer. But it’s completely up to you. We can do whatever you’re comfortable with, and you don’t have to touch me or anything.” 

“I really want to,” said Scorpius breathlessly. “I do.” 

“Okay,” Said Albus. “Does tomorrow night work?” 

“Yes,” replied Scorpius without thinking. “I mean- I’m working another twelve hour shift. But I’ll be back around eleven. If that’s not too late.” 

“It’s fine,” said Albus. “You won’t be too tired?” 

Scorpius didn’t think he would ever be too tired to do anything with Albus. Especially this. 

“Not at all.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 3! I was going to wait and edit it over the weekend but I've had some free time after a long weekend of homework and am really starting to get into this story. Hope everyone enjoys :)

Scorpius shut the door to the apartment and set his keys on the hook on the wall. Normally after returning home from a twelve hour long shift at eleven o’clock, he was exhausted. Tonight he was anything but. Because Albus had promised to be waiting for him, in his bedroom, and Scorpius was equal parts nervous and very, very excited for what was in store. As he shrugged off his coat and shoes by the door, he briefly worried, not for the first time that day, about embarrassing himself in front of Albus. What if Albus laughed at the size of him? Or made fun of him when he would inevitably come in under a minute?

Albus had so much experience, he thought as he changed into his pajamas. He had been with so many other men he could compare Scorpius to. He had to keep reminding himself that Albus was doing this to help him. He told Scorpius he wouldn’t judge. Of course he wasn’t expecting him to last long. Scorpius shook his head and tentatively knocked on Albus’ bedroom door. 

“It’s me,” he stammered, immediately regretting saying anything. Of course it was him. Who else would be in their apartment at eleven o’clock at night? 

“Come in!” Came Albus’ muffled voice from behind the door. Scorpius pushed it open. 

Albus was sat on the bed in a pair of joggers and an old Holyhead Harpies tee shirt. He had set his book down on the nightstand and sat up expectantly.

“Hey,” said Scorpius, closing the door behind them, unsure of what he should do next. Was he supposed to just...get into bed with Albus? They had never talked about the logistics of what they were going to do. 

Albus moved over and patted the space beside him.

“You can, erm, sit here,” he muttered, putting on a smile to likely ease Scorpius’ doubts. Scorpius clambered onto the bed and sat up in the same position as Albus, resting his back against the pillows and doing his best to relax. 

“So you want me to just- wank you off?” Albus offered. Scorpius’ cheeks grew warm. He hadn’t expected Albus to enter this situation so bluntly, but then again, that was Albus. He didn’t stumble over his words and say the wrong thing when he interacted with someone. 

“Yeah,” Scorpius let out a breath and leaned back. “I guess I should pull these down,” he muttered, mentally preparing himself for what was about to happen. He was already half hard and he blushed as he lowered his pajama bottoms just enough so that Albus would have access to him. 

“You sure about this?” Albus asked. He had turned onto his side so his hand, which was reaching out but not quite touching, could reach Scorpius. Scorpius nodded, not sure how much longer he could take sitting there with his dick out in front of his best friend. 

Albus crossed the remaining distance and wrapped his hand around Scorpius, who gasped at the contact. Albus stopped and looked up at him, as if asking for permission. Scorpius nodded again, trying to relax into the feeling. 

“I don’t mind if you don’t last very long,” whispered Albus, as he began to stroke. 

“Good-ah,” Scorpius moaned, the feeling of Albus’ hand on him already becoming too much to handle. “I don’t think I’m going to,” he gritted out. Albus was expertly wanking him off, reaching every inch of Scorpius and twisting his wrist in a most delightful way. It couldn’t have been more than a minute before Scorpius was thrusting up into Albus’ hand and coating it with his release. It was so, so good, better than he had ever experienced with his own hand. As he came down from the high, he opened his eyes and saw that some of his come had made its way onto Albus’ bedspread, as well as his hand. 

“Sorry,” Scorpius cringed. 

“Its okay,” Albus just laughed and reached over to grab his wand, vanishing the mess. Scorpius noticed that, judging from the tightness of his joggers, Albus was obviously somewhat affected by what had just happened. They hadn’t exactly discussed Scorpius reciprocating, and if he was being honest with himself, he didn’t think he would mind doing so. It wasn’t like he was attracted to Albus...it would just be a nice thing to do. 

“Do you want me to wank you off?” Scorpius offered. “I mean it’s only fair…” 

“You don’t have to,” said Albus. “I can take care of myself.” 

“I know,” said Scorpius. “It would just be a...nice thing to do? I mean it’s only fair?” 

“Are you sure?” Albus asked. “I mean, you’re not even gay.” 

“I’d like to. If you’re okay with it. I mean it’s not like it would be so different from wanking myself off.” Albus grinned his usual cheeky grin before shrugging. 

“I mean, I’m not going to refuse,” he shrugged. “You sure?” He rested his hand on the waistband of his joggers and Scorpius nodded, urging Albus to pull them down. His mouth watered at the sight of Albus, who apparently hadn’t been wearing underpants. He was about average size, as far as Scorpius could tell, and there was a smattering of short, jet black hairs surrounding him. It looked as if he had shaved a few days ago and the hair had begun to grow back. Albus was now completely hard and Scorpius awkwardly reached over to wrap his hand around him. Albus leaned back, relaxing into his friends’ touch. 

Scorpius, to the best of his ability, tried to mimic all the techniques he usually used on himself, though the angle was a bit different. Albus moaned softly and encouraged Scorpius to go faster, telling him exactly how he liked to be touched. Scorpius was finding that he actually didn’t mind touching Albus like that, and that it was actually somewhat enjoyable. He felt his pants start to tighten slightly again as Albus came with a moan that he unsuccessfully tried to hold back. 

Albus opened his eyes, meeting Scorpius', who couldn't help but stare. It took a moment for him to come to his senses and use his clean hand to vanish the mess Albus had made. Albus hastily pulled up his pajama bottoms and cleared his throat. 

Scorpius didn’t know what to do next. Was there a rule book dictating how to behave after you and your best friend hooked up? 

“I should get to bed,” Said Scorpius quietly, climbing off the bed. 

“Right- you’ve got an early shift tomorrow,” Albus replied, suddenly becoming very interested in the markings on his wand. “Did you want to- you know- do this again?” He blurted out suddenly.

“Yes,” Scorpius replied, on his way out the door, pink checked and flustered. “Maybe tomorrow night- no I’ve got a 24 hour rotation...Thursday night?” 

“I’m Pretty much free every night, yeah,” said Albus, giving Scorpius a smile that made his heart do a backflip. 

“Great- er okay,” Said Scorpius. “Thanks- I mean- good night,” he mumbled nervously, his cheeks growing even more red if possible. He quickly left the room after Albus said goodnight to him and got ready for bed. 

As he was brushing his teeth, he couldn’t stop thinking about that moment he and Albus shared before Scorpius had left the room. Albus had been doing that to him a lot recently, making his heart flutter at random moments, with just his cheeky grin or his sarcasm. He couldn’t help but wonder what it all meant.

He was being silly, though. Albus was his friend. They were just really, really close. Scorpius had never had another friend, not one like Albus. He was just confused. He knew he liked girls. He had fancied many girls before, had fantasized about them as he brought himself off every night. Unless...wasn’t it possible to fancy both? He remembered Rose casually mentioning that one time. 

“I fancy both.” she had shrugged and brushed this off as if it was nothing. 

Malfoys couldn’t fancy both. No...whatever these feelings, that he might not even have in the first place, for Albus were absurd. Nobody in his family was queer. What would his grandparents say if he brought home a boy? If he brought home Albus? 

But it made sense now, the feelings that Scorpius knew he had always had, that were finally starting to come to the surface. He remembered being thirteen and watching Albus take his clothes off in their dormitory, something that he had seen him do for the past two years, and having to run to the bathroom because he didn’t understand what he was feeling and why his pants had grown tight. He remembered Albus comforting him just a few months later after his mother had died and sharing a bed with him that night. Scorpius had opened his eyes in the middle of the night to see Albus asleep and wanted to kiss his forehead. He thought about being so mad at Albus after seeing him kiss another boy and telling himself it was because Albus hadn’t been honest with him. Not once did he think about the fact that maybe, just maybe, Scorpius wanted to be the one who Albus was kissing. 

Malfoy or not, there was no reason to believe Albus had the same feelings. For one thing, Albus didn’t do boyfriends. And secondly, Albus was the one helping him out so he would eventually get a girlfriend. Albus obviously wanted to see him end up with someone else. 

And he was Albus. Albus who never cared about what anyone thought of him, yet had so little confidence in himself sometimes. Albus who was so sarcastic and never once failed to make him smile. Albus who could make any activity fun by being there and who could calm Scorpius down by simply placing a hand on his thigh. Scorpius wondered why Albus didn’t date more when he was sure Albus could make any boy fall in love with him without even trying. No, Albus would never go for him. Scorpius was an anxious mess. He was smart, sure, but nothing beyond that. There was nothing special about him. 

Scorpius needed to forget about whatever he felt for Albus. Besides, he had healer exams to study for. And a girlfriend to think about finding.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scorpius’ feelings intensify.

The healing program at St.Mungo’s was set up so that students would spend two weeks studying theories in a classroom, while taking multiple quizzes throughout each week and a unit exam, and then one week at the actual hospital. While at St.Mungo’s, the students followed around doctors and got to see firsthand how the procedures they studied were performed and were granted permission to perform some small procedures on their own. As the healing program progressed, students gradually spent more and more time in the hospital rather than learning theory, and were granted permission to perform more complicated procedures every year, provided they practised and demonstrated that they were capable, of course. 

As Scorpius was only in the first half of his first year of the three year program he was hardly qualified to do much. He was doing exceptionally well on his written exams and working hard to master the procedures he had been granted permission to perform. But that twenty-four hour rotation was spent following around a rather stressed out looking second year healer through her day in the magical creatures department. It was imperative that he pay attention, and it was easy to pay attention to the exciting (and often frightening) ongoings of St.Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. During his rotation Scorpius watched as the healer he was following helped a man who had been bitten by a werewolf, treated not one but two dragon bites on a couple who had apparently been illegally housing a baby dragon in their home, and one man who brought his niffler in who had eaten his gold watch.

Scorpius stood by uselessly as the poor healer repeatedly tried to explain to the man that even though this was the department for magical creature injuries, St.Mungo’s only operated on humans and he would have to take his niffler to an expert on magical creatures if he wanted to see his watch again. The man furiously demanded to see her supervisor, who told him the exact same thing and only managed to get him to leave by directing him and his niffler to a shop in Diagon Alley that may be able to help. Scorpius hadn’t had a single second to think about his feelings for Albus. 

By the time Scorpius got home at seven in the morning he was pretty sure that he would be able to fall asleep in a matter of seconds. As he set his bag down at the table he noticed a note on the counter. 

“Score- I know you’re getting back early after a long shift so I made you some pancakes! They’re in the fridge. I’ve been experimenting with some more recipes and I think you’ll like this one. Hope you enjoy them and get some rest!   
-xx Albus   
Ps: I’ll be home around five. Wanna order takeaway and watch a film tonight? 

Scorpius smiled at how thoughtful Albus was. Since he was only doing a part time internship, he had some free time on his hands. Lately, he had been experimenting with muggle baking recipes and Scorpius was often the one who was subjected to trying them. He never complained though, because with the exception of the cookies Albus had accidentally added salt to, instead of sugar, everything Albus created was amazing. 

He opened the fridge and took the pancakes out, heating them up with a warming charm and indulging before heading into his bedroom for a long nap. 

Scorpius slept until 2:30 and then took a shower and waited for Albus to come home. They ordered takeaway that night and watched a muggle film that Albus’ grandfather had recommended before retiring to Albus’ room.

This time, while Albus did check in with Scorpius a few times, there was less talking. It felt more natural, as if, even after that one time it had become a routine. Scorpius had at least known what to expect, which eased his anxiety. He didn’t last much longer than the previous night. He let himself forget the stressful day he had had, getting lost in the feeling of Albus’ hand. Albus had prepared this time and used lube. Scorpius had involuntarily thrusted up into Albus’ hand, practically crying out when the feeling of his orgasm rushed through him. It took him a minute to slow his heart rate and catch his breath. 

“Do you-” Scorpius breathed, “want me to-” another breath, “you know?” Scorpius managed to stutter out once he had composed himself enough. 

“Score, you really don’t have to,” said Albus. 

“But I want to,” Scorpius said sincerely. 

“Okay,” Albus agreed. “Do you need help with that?” He pointed to the mess splattered all over Scorpius’ stomach, just above his half hard penis, still exposed. Scorpius blushed. 

“Right,” he mumbled, quickly casting scourgify on himself and pulling up his pajama bottoms, before turning to Albus. 

Albus stretched out on the bed, giving Scorpius the room to touch him. Scorpius surprised himself by starting with more of a build up. He lightly rubbed the bulge straining Albus’ sweatpants. Albus whined at the touch, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. Though Albus was obviously enjoying what Scorpius was doing, he still tugged on Albus hand to ask him for permission. Albus opened his eyes. 

“Can I?” He asked one more time, hand hovering over the waistband of Albus’ pajama bottoms. 

“Yes- Merlin yes,” Albus breathed out, lifting his hips up to show how much he wanted it. Scorpius, more confidently than before, quickly eased his sweatpants down and grabbing the lube from the nightstand. He had picked up some of the moves Albus had used on him, and a few that he often used on himself. To Scorpius’ surprise, Albus finished rather quickly. 

Their relationship continued on like that for several weeks. Every couple nights or so Scorpius would climb into Albus’ bed and they’d wank each other off. And every couple of nights Scorpius reflected on his feelings for Albus. He couldn’t deny that he had them now. 

After they were done he always felt guilty. Like he was taking advantage of Albus. Albus didn’t know how he felt. Albus wouldn’t want to keep doing this if he knew how Scorpius really felt. This didn’t mean anything to Albus, who was still hooking up with other men (though Scorpius noted he had been doing this far less than usual lately). It was just a favor, something to help out his best friend. 

And the whole point of it was so Scorpius could get experience so he wouldn’t be widely unprepared the first time he had sex. Albus brought it up one night after they both were laying in bed, just a few minutes after bringing each other off. 

“So, score,” Albus began, pulling up his joggers. “Anyone in your healing class you fancy shagging for the first time? Feel prepared enough?

Scorpius’ heart clenched at these words. He’d been dreading this conversation. Because he’d basically abandoned the prospect of pursuing anyone now that he had realized his feelings for Albus. Albus probably didn’t want to do this anymore. 

“Oh- er,” he began, “I’ve just been so busy with exams and everything. We don’t have to keep doing this though...” he rushed to add, trying not to sound too disappointed. 

The whole situation was so ridiculous in the first place. Albus was giving Scorpius, his friend, handjobs two or three times a week. But it had been Albus’ idea, not his.  
But besides, hadn’t their friendship always been a bit ridiculous?

“I want to,” Albus cut in. “I mean,” he backtracked, “we don’t have to stop. I don’t mind helping you out until things get less busy and you can find someone to- you know,” he finished. 

“I don’t want you to feel obligated to-“ 

“I don’t feel obligated!” Albus interrupted him. “Really, Score. You’re my best mate,” he said with a small smile. 

‘My best mate’ Scorpius thought. 

“Okay,” agreed Scorpius, trying not to feel too guilty about the fact that there probably would never be a “less busy time” and that the only person he ever wanted to “you know” with was Albus. 

He glanced over at the digital (muggle) clock on Albus’ bedside table. 

“I should get to bed,” he made to leave, but Albus grabbed his arm. 

“Stay here tonight,” Albus urged him, lifting up the comforter and placing it over them both. Scorpius eyed his best friend. 

“You sure?” 

“Course,” Albus replied easily. “It’ll be just like we’re back at school. I’ll set an alarm for six,” he reached over to fiddle with the alarm clock. Scorpius had asked why Albus didn’t just use his wand for this sort of thing multiple times but Albus had insisted that muggle technology was more fun and that his grandfather had gifted the clock for him. 

Albus turned off the light and they said goodnight to each other before burrowing under the blankets. To Scorpius, it felt exactly like it did back at Hogwarts when they would stay up so late talking about anything and everything before just falling asleep, the two of them right next to each other in the small space. But everything was different, too, in so many ways. 

Scorpius wished that it wasn’t. Because his feelings for Albus had grown too strong to ignore. They had come out of nowhere, but now that they were here Scorpius didn’t think that they’d ever go away. And that terrified him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late! I really want to try to post on a regular schedule from now on! I also started writing for my school newspaper so maybe that will help keep me on track :) anyway hope you enjoy this chapter! Please tell me what you think and feel free to criticize me on any British terms I may have used incorrectly (I am American). Thanks for reading!


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